It’s almost as impossible to find these positives everyone keeps telling me about , and that I should look forward and not back ! I know everybody means well and it is extremely difficult for people to understand that I don’t see good or bad , sad or happy , hopefulness or hopelessness . I search and I search without any success so far , I know I will get to the other side of this and the doctor has warned me I will never be 100% , and that’s ok , that’s fine . In the meantime I have what I am now calling my wee lights , little bits of what I know will be my logs to grab on to when I’m washing away , keep me alive , keep me fighting and hopefully one day they will all join together and be my big light and blow away the darkness .

I am writing this in thanks for all those close to me and beyond , in thanks for keeping me sane ( ish ) and just being there at whatever time and wherever they may be !! sounds a bit cliche and I don’t like cliches , you all are my wee lights and you all keep me going . My thanks will never be enough ❤️ .

Me ….


Published by sinook01

Hi i am a 49 year old plumber who ran his own business for years happily married for 27 years and one 22 year old son recently had a breakdown ended up in hospital dignosed with a severe depression this blog is my journey day to day

3 thoughts on “Positives

  1. Hello, could you ask your nieces to make you a ‘Wee Light jar? A nice big one – they could make it pretty? And when you experience a ‘wee light’ write it down and pop it in, so whatever you are feeling good or bad you could go to that jar and pick a wee light at random maybe? Something real to read and remember and lovely to think about? 😊 Xxx

  2. Ritchy, you’ve got a wee light through here in Motherwell, keep fighting pal, I read your blogs and they just blow me away. You’ve words have given me an understanding of mental illness that I never knew before, you’ve got a special talent, don’t let the voices or anyone tell you otherwise. I know that you are loved more than you know, my prayers are with you, let your lights burn brightly.

    1. Hi Ian , your message had me and Ann in tears . I did not think that anything I do would have an impact on other people ! Thanks for your thoughts and prayers , I will add your light to my jar , I am just humbled 🙏

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